








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 168 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1388 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 343 | 11% |
| Smokes | 969 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 874 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 987 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $557,869 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tush | 50% | 14 |
| #2 | l3ouncer | 47% | 76 |
| #3 | Derski | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Shooter | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | ♥Bubbles♥ | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Derski | 45% | 20 |
| #4 | Shooter | 42% | 12 |
| #5 | ♥Bubbles♥ | 38% | 13 |
| #6 | Stu | 33% | 39 |
| #7 | Nutty | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | l3ouncer | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Derski | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | ♥Bubbles♥ | 1 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Shooter | 1 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tush | 77 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | Shooter | 55 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #3 | l3ouncer | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | ♥Bubbles♥ | 19 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Stu | 16 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | l3ouncer | +0.95 | 52 | 43 |
| #2 | Shooter | +0.83 | 38 | 49 |
| #3 | GaminGooner | +0.35 | 42 | 32 |
| #4 | Nutty | +0.26 | 29 | 58 |
| #5 | Stu | -0.05 | 32 | 43 |





