








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 186 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 466 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2291 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 2178 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1237 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $923,301 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shooter | 45% | 55 |
| #2 | Digital Diva | 44% | 25 |
| #3 | Stu | 43% | 195 |
| #4 | Derski | 40% | 50 |
| #5 | Chia LaBeouf | 37% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Derski | 40% | 50 |
| #5 | Chia LaBeouf | 37% | 19 |
| #6 | ♥Bubbles♥ | 35% | 26 |
| #7 | l3ouncer | 34% | 74 |
| #8 | GaminGooner | 32% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | l3ouncer | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Stu | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Shooter | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | GaminGooner | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ♥Bubbles♥ | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shooter | 338 | 0.31 | 7 min |
| #2 | Stu | 150 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | ♥Bubbles♥ | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Digital Diva | 42 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | l3ouncer | 35 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shooter | +2.32 | 28 | 59 |
| #2 | Nutty | +0.42 | 36 | 52 |
| #3 | Stu | +0.39 | 31 | 46 |
| #4 | l3ouncer | -0.46 | 50 | 37 |
| #5 | Chia LaBeouf | -0.58 | 37 | 54 |





