








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 446 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4681 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,814 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1714 | 15% |
| Smokes | 2936 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4407 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2757 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,294,799 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tigon | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Trains | 52% | 42 |
| #3 | huffin' septic | 52% | 143 |
| #4 | GaminGooner | 47% | 76 |
| #5 | Tush | 46% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Derski | 42% | 97 |
| #9 | Stu | 42% | 152 |
| #10 | Shooter | 42% | 53 |
| #11 | Digital Diva | 36% | 44 |
| #12 | Nutty | 34% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tush | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | huffin' septic | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | GaminGooner | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Shooter | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Stu | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tush | 636 | 0.31 | 17 min |
| #2 | huffin' septic | 598 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #3 | Shooter | 280 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #4 | Stu | 98 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #5 | Tigon | 78 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tush | +0.83 | 62 | 78 |
| #2 | huffin' septic | +0.70 | 46 | 61 |
| #3 | Tigon | +0.63 | 66 | 46 |
| #4 | Shooter | +0.11 | 32 | 59 |
| #5 | l3ouncer | +0.10 | 59 | 47 |





