








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,529 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 290 | 19% |
| Smokes | 272 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 598 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 369 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $83,738 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sysroot | 57% | 7 |
| #2 | Tigon | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | Tush | 56% | 18 |
| #4 | Shooter | 55% | 20 |
| #5 | JBxRAMBO | 55% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Stu | 41% | 73 |
| #11 | Nutty | 40% | 50 |
| #12 | Digital Diva | 36% | 11 |
| #13 | huffin' septic | 27% | 11 |
| #14 | l3ad Co. | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | l3ouncer | 11 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Shooter | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | l3ad Co. | 2 | 0.0122 |
| #4 | GaminGooner | 1 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Tush | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shooter | 103 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #2 | Tush | 77 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #3 | l3ouncer | 65 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Stu | 60 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | sleepy joe | 45 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sleepy joe | +2.15 | 47 | 58 |
| #2 | Tigon | +2.13 | 68 | 58 |
| #3 | Shooter | +1.76 | 28 | 46 |
| #4 | Tush | +1.48 | 61 | 75 |
| #5 | Nutty | +1.13 | 37 | 51 |





