








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 430 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 37 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2537 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2145 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1913 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1449 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1835 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $455,354 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 470 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sammee | 75% | 44 |
| #2 | Miksubb | 70% | 20 |
| #3 | tiina | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | vauhtisami | 65% | 46 |
| #5 | 예지 | 65% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | 7 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | Sammee | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | vauhtisami | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | 예지 | 4 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | Yoshi | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yoshi | 188 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | 예지 | 168 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sammee | 134 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | vauhtisami | 120 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gonakuski | 91 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalmarz | +5.07 | 88 | 63 |
| #2 | Yoshi | +3.48 | 73 | 74 |
| #3 | Sammee | +2.49 | 86 | 60 |
| #4 | PIIPPO | +2.28 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | Miksubb | +2.10 | 79 | 60 |





