








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
219 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 224 | 25% |
| Smokes | 329 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 280 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 58 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,968 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 28 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Huff | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | TheOGPotato | 100% | 2 |
| #3 | DukeJean | 67% | 9 |
| 50% | 18 | ||
| #5 | Boxolotl | 50% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gooboo Steve | 3 | 0.0078 |
| 1 | 0.0028 | ||
| #3 | DukeJean | 1 | 0.0058 |
| 1 | 0.0238 | ||
| #5 | TheOGPotato | 1 | 0.0270 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #2 | Gooboo Steve | 20 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| 16 | 0.04 | 0 min | ||
| #4 | DukeJean | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | unReliableBottomFragger | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | +7.23 | 84 | 37 |
| +3.33 | 69 | 58 | ||
| #3 | TheOGPotato | +2.29 | 78 | 71 |
| +0.89 | 80 | 56 | ||
| #5 | zelatrix | +0.23 | 76 | 59 |





