








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 509 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 148 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3342 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,561 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3612 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5719 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5039 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 4191 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,572,396 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 55% | 447 |
| 55% | 95 | ||
| 50% | 338 | ||
| 48% | 50 | ||
| #5 | Gooboo Steve | 46% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| 50% | 338 | ||
| 48% | 50 | ||
| #5 | Gooboo Steve | 46% | 198 |
| 42% | 48 | ||
| #7 | unReliableBottomFragger | 40% | 90 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 30 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Gooboo Steve | 30 | 0.0076 |
| 18 | 0.0027 | ||
| 12 | 0.0064 | ||
| #5 | unReliableBottomFragger | 4 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 324 | 0.05 | 6 min | ||
| #2 | Boxolotl | 298 | 0.03 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gooboo Steve | 178 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #4 | unReliableBottomFragger | 79 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| 44 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | +6.04 | 82 | 50 |
| +4.05 | 67 | 58 | ||
| +0.13 | 80 | 47 | ||
| #4 | Gooboo Steve | -0.73 | 52 | 51 |
| #5 | DukeJean | -2.33 | 59 | 56 |





