








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 654 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4982 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1425 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2086 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2175 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1114 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,610,858 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 50% | 353 |
| #2 | DukeJean | 46% | 198 |
| 45% | 248 | ||
| #4 | unReliableBottomFragger | 35% | 68 |
| 32% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 50% | 353 |
| #2 | DukeJean | 46% | 198 |
| 45% | 248 | ||
| #4 | unReliableBottomFragger | 35% | 68 |
| 32% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | 21 | 0.0030 |
| 17 | 0.0034 | ||
| 8 | 0.0069 | ||
| #4 | DukeJean | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | unReliableBottomFragger | 2 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DukeJean | 351 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| 191 | 0.04 | 4 min | ||
| #3 | Boxolotl | 172 | 0.02 | 4 min |
| #4 | unReliableBottomFragger | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boxolotl | +6.01 | 83 | 50 |
| -0.21 | 83 | 49 | ||
| #3 | Gooboo Steve | -0.85 | 59 | 49 |
| #4 | DukeJean | -2.66 | 65 | 58 |
| -3.07 | 43 | 14 |





