










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,371 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1319 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1260 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 835 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $681,928 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dacelo | 63% | 24 |
| #2 | Bongo Mo | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | Slouv | 57% | 76 |
| #4 | Haychie | 55% | 71 |
| #5 | CoachJal | 52% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slouv | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | otter | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | bagel | 7 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Station | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Haychie | 6 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | otter | 310 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #2 | bagel | 242 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Station | 181 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | CoachJal | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Slouv | 158 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bagel | +2.99 | 65 | 56 |
| #2 | otter | +2.20 | 79 | 63 |
| #3 | Slouv | +2.15 | 70 | 54 |
| #4 | Haychie | +1.34 | 72 | 49 |
| #5 | beej | +0.52 | 63 | 56 |





