








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4734 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4123 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4281 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2834 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3680 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,283,695 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1108 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bongo Mo | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | bagel | 53% | 107 |
| #3 | beej | 48% | 97 |
| #4 | Haychie | 48% | 184 |
| #5 | Anfronee Edmonds | 48% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slouv | 17 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Haychie | 17 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Bongo Mo | 10 | 0.0116 |
| #4 | Station | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | bagel | 8 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Slouv | 566 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #2 | Haychie | 365 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | bagel | 313 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Station | 300 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Anfronee Edmonds | 227 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bagel | +1.74 | 60 | 56 |
| #2 | otter | +1.56 | 78 | 62 |
| #3 | Haychie | +0.74 | 74 | 51 |
| #4 | Slouv | +0.41 | 66 | 59 |
| #5 | beej | +0.08 | 60 | 55 |





