








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 81 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,594 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1061 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1184 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1133 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1216 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $297,011 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Pickel2k | 60% | 15 |
| #7 | Kynttä | 60% | 57 |
| #8 | jormA | 58% | 52 |
| #9 | Sakardo | 56% | 72 |
| #10 | Leme | 44% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sakardo | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Kynttä | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Pickel2k | 3 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | GAMER | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | jormA | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GAMER | 402 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #2 | Sakardo | 280 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Kynttä | 167 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | jormA | 117 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spyrö | 69 | 0.12 | 2 min |





