








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 487 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 190 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3092 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,159 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1907 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2191 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2007 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2054 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $791,751 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 178 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R1muru "Кевин" T3mpest | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | Spidergum | 76% | 41 |
| #3 | pflasterwagenfahrer | 75% | 24 |
| #4 | ARKYN | 68% | 84 |
| #5 | INST4NT | 65% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | LikeSarin | 59% | 79 |
| #11 | QuackaJoe | 58% | 36 |
| #12 | LαzyΩ | 57% | 14 |
| #13 | chr1s | 55% | 22 |
| #14 | eNZY ✪ | 52% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ARKYN | 29 | 0.0163 |
| #2 | noxq. | 6 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | INST4NT | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | pflasterwagenfahrer | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #5 | kasax | 2 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skippo | 529 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #2 | ARKYN | 359 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | Spidergum | 207 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #4 | kasax | 151 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | noxq. | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spidergum | +3.94 | 94 | 66 |
| #2 | kasax | +3.73 | 86 | 70 |
| #3 | ARKYN | +2.62 | 82 | 68 |
| #4 | F18 | +1.70 | 89 | 57 |
| #5 | LαzyΩ | +1.49 | 73 | 63 |





