








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
232 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 221 | 23% |
| Smokes | 275 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 254 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 198 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $98,092 of utility $101 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mrs_nugglez | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | Hot Dog | 64% | 11 |
| #3 | HNNNNNNNNNGH | 54% | 24 |
| #4 | Dog Fort | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | Mr_Snugglez | 44% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | The OG Breakfast Place | 41% | 27 |
| #8 | shabbadoo | 38% | 8 |
| #9 | Warlock | 27% | 11 |
| #10 | d!ce. | 25% | 4 |
| #11 | Spacely | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The OG Breakfast Place | 3 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | HNNNNNNNNNGH | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Mr_Snugglez | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | shabbadoo | 1 | 0.0069 |





