








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 102 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1597 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1710 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1423 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 788 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 934 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $423,419 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | [CKW] Blitzkrieg | 34% | 67 |
| #6 | Prestige - Road to 1K | 33% | 289 |
| #7 | Eerie Kyri | 33% | 144 |
| #8 | pubies[nosound] | 30% | 40 |
| #9 | Ace | 28% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eerie Kyri | 19 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Prestige - Road to 1K | 18 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Ace | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Strafe- | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Poseidon水♆ | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poseidon水♆ | 211 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | Ace | 201 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | Eerie Kyri | 153 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Strafe- | 141 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | [CKW] Blitzkrieg | 68 | 0.05 | 2 min |





