








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,497 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1876 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1589 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 3705 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 3327 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $484,312 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grembranx | 50% | 28 |
| #2 | Poseidon水♆ | 45% | 211 |
| #3 | pubies[nosound] | 40% | 93 |
| #4 | Strafe- | 39% | 231 |
| #5 | Prestige - Road to 1K | 39% | 247 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prestige - Road to 1K | 12 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Poseidon水♆ | 8 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Strafe- | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Sovereign Mix | 5 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | pubies[nosound] | 5 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grembranx | +2.46 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | Poseidon水♆ | +2.42 | 66 | 61 |
| #3 | Strafe- | +2.29 | 64 | 53 |
| #4 | Ace | +0.31 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | Eerie Kyri | -0.63 | 57 | 53 |





