








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 456 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6233 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,122 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4689 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3748 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5605 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4080 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,181,184 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 760 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Steuernagel | 57% | 86 |
| #2 | Danning | 55% | 92 |
| #3 | Grembranx | 53% | 80 |
| #4 | 6IX | 47% | 34 |
| #5 | Poseidon水♆ | 47% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Prestige - Road to 1K | 43% | 432 |
| #8 | pubies[nosound] | 43% | 54 |
| #9 | Strafe- | 37% | 99 |
| #10 | Eerie Kyri | 34% | 76 |
| #11 | Sovereign Mix | 28% | 159 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Prestige - Road to 1K | 12 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | Eerie Kyri | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Sovereign Mix | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Danning | 5 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | pubies[nosound] | 4 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [CKW] Blitzkrieg | 254 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #2 | Sovereign Mix | 168 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | Danning | 150 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Poseidon水♆ | 108 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Grembranx | 105 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grembranx | +4.16 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | Poseidon水♆ | +1.91 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | Steuernagel | +1.66 | 81 | 54 |
| #4 | Strafe- | +1.34 | 58 | 54 |
| #5 | Ace | +1.26 | 73 | 50 |





