








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 321 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 82 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5417 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2885 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4174 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 5698 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 5061 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $900,023 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 652 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Danning | 58% | 45 |
| #2 | Steuernagel | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | Grembranx | 49% | 77 |
| #4 | DippZ | 47% | 163 |
| #5 | Poseidon水♆ | 46% | 370 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eerie Kyri | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Poseidon水♆ | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Prestige - Road to 1K | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | SexyLlama | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Sovereign Mix | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poseidon水♆ | 1048 | 0.14 | 30 min |
| #2 | DippZ | 651 | 0.18 | 15 min |
| #3 | SexyLlama | 311 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪Slider | 252 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Eerie Kyri | 198 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grembranx | +2.95 | 75 | 53 |
| #2 | SexyLlama | +1.94 | 88 | 52 |
| #3 | Strafe- | +1.12 | 65 | 55 |
| #4 | EnV1sion- | +0.29 | 75 | 38 |
| #5 | ✪Slider | +0.24 | 76 | 59 |





