








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 176 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 467 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 90 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




44 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6795 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 649 | 5% |
| Smokes | 4461 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2355 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 5718 | 43% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,950,593 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 323 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Poseidon水♆ | 43% | 145 |
| #10 | Eerie Kyri | 39% | 247 |
| #11 | Strafe- | 39% | 237 |
| #12 | pubies[nosound] | 37% | 134 |
| #13 | Sovereign Mix | 33% | 289 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ace | 546 | 0.06 | 12 min |
| #2 | Sovereign Mix | 351 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #3 | Poseidon水♆ | 341 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #4 | Eerie Kyri | 238 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | Strafe- | 226 | 0.05 | 6 min |





