








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 58 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 166 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1285 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,563 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2146 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1003 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 1283 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $312,379 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oreosss | 65% | 97 |
| #2 | 8man | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | Shrinkem | 57% | 130 |
| #4 | jHeck | 56% | 234 |
| #5 | Ruthless | 56% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jHeck | 27 | 0.0088 |
| #2 | WeWeWe | 22 | 0.0171 |
| #3 | Ruthless | 14 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | Shrinkem | 9 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | S5J | 4 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jHeck | 531 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | Ruthless | 188 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | oreosss | 183 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Shrinkem | 179 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | WeWeWe | 100 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S5J | +5.19 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | oreosss | +4.93 | 87 | 66 |
| #3 | jHeck | +3.82 | 85 | 51 |
| #4 | 8man | +3.52 | 80 | 72 |
| #5 | Ruthless | +0.84 | 73 | 51 |





