








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 278 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,969 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2552 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1868 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2610 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1939 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $958,419 of utility $127 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8man | 71% | 62 |
| #2 | oreosss | 66% | 143 |
| #3 | Kiss♡SisLover | 56% | 165 |
| #4 | Shrinkem | 56% | 205 |
| #5 | jHeck | 56% | 198 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jHeck | 39 | 0.0094 |
| #2 | Shrinkem | 33 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Kiss♡SisLover | 20 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | WeWeWe | 18 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | 8man | 17 | 0.0139 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jHeck | 867 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | oreosss | 616 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #3 | Kiss♡SisLover | 516 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #4 | Shrinkem | 504 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | 8man | 320 | 0.26 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 8man | +4.88 | 83 | 74 |
| #2 | S5J | +4.87 | 89 | 63 |
| #3 | oreosss | +4.10 | 87 | 71 |
| #4 | jHeck | +2.39 | 85 | 53 |
| #5 | Ruthless | +0.59 | 72 | 53 |





