








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 4 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1988 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,042 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 892 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1329 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1512 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1309 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $473,968 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | 88% | 25 |
| #2 | smud.arney | 83% | 40 |
| #3 | torri | 82% | 17 |
| #4 | bRUNOBANANI (it's a name) | 82% | 11 |
| #5 | Lurve | 82% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #19 | eXICKED | 57% | 14 |
| #20 | ttv Danny_xo | 56% | 9 |
| #21 | monty | 54% | 13 |
| #22 | Jungle Jonas | 53% | 43 |
| #23 | rezq | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .tob | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | TatoH | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DKOP | 438 | 0.45 | 16 min |
| #2 | .tob | 168 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Jungle Jonas | 147 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | LaptopTORE | 131 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #5 | asK ? | 119 | 0.35 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k0nabear | +5.18 | 83 | 76 |
| #2 | NisseFrø- *NoScopeGlasses | +4.21 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | .tob | +3.55 | 76 | 81 |
| #4 | Hugh | +2.18 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | DKOP | +1.78 | 83 | 85 |





