








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,957 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2139 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1742 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1610 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1466 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $510,128 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LiftMyTail | 85% | 13 |
| #2 | MintPatty | 75% | 24 |
| #3 | Ken | 73% | 26 |
| #4 | Blasian | 69% | 16 |
| #5 | issic | 66% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | ۥkoen | 50% | 10 |
| #10 | papaJ | 50% | 136 |
| #11 | Squidward Sugmaballs | 49% | 61 |
| #12 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 48% | 126 |
| #13 | WB | 46% | 117 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 15 | 0.0059 |
| #2 | WB | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Caffè Kat | 7 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | papaJ | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | LiftMyTail | 5 | 0.0208 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papaJ | 731 | 0.26 | 27 min |
| #2 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 542 | 0.21 | 13 min |
| #3 | Squidward Sugmaballs | 271 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #4 | WB | 233 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | Caffè Kat | 181 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MintPatty | +5.85 | 97 | 18 |
| #2 | smoovy | +2.19 | 51 | 49 |
| #3 | issic | +1.24 | 81 | 51 |
| #4 | Leado | +1.17 | 67 | 64 |
| #5 | papaJ | +1.13 | 82 | 77 |





