








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
846 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,994 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 389 | 20% |
| Smokes | 539 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 613 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 453 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $190,194 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | WB | 52% | 25 |
| #15 | Squidward Sugmaballs | 50% | 8 |
| #16 | Caffè Kat | 47% | 30 |
| #17 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 43% | 53 |
| #18 | smoovy | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 9 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | Caffè Kat | 8 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | LiftMyTail | 5 | 0.0323 |
| #4 | Ken | 4 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | papaJ | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 213 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | papaJ | 167 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #3 | Leado | 150 | 0.25 | 4 min |
| #4 | Caffè Kat | 78 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | WB | 73 | 0.15 | 3 min |





