








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 411 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4927 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,036 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6096 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8045 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 5372 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5523 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,469 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1811 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | papaJ | 46% | 274 |
| #12 | WB | 45% | 252 |
| #13 | Rynthi | 44% | 48 |
| #14 | issic | 43% | 53 |
| #15 | ۥkoen | 41% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Caffè Kat | 27 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | papaJ | 20 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | WB | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Squidward Sugmaballs | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | Leado | 6 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | papaJ | 1441 | 0.25 | 49 min |
| #2 | Squidward Sugmaballs | 714 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | Caffè Kat | 655 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #4 | WB | 565 | 0.11 | 18 min |
| #5 | Leado | 535 | 0.21 | 13 min |





