








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 83 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 274 matches | ||
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3924 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,674 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6194 | 37% |
| Smokes | 4716 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2563 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3201 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,054,366 of utility $116 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 535 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blasian | 60% | 45 |
| #2 | Rynthi | 59% | 51 |
| #3 | MintPatty | 56% | 54 |
| #4 | issic | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | Squidward Sugmaballs | 50% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | WB | 48% | 305 |
| #9 | Caffè Kat | 47% | 135 |
| #10 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 46% | 274 |
| #11 | ۥkoen | 42% | 43 |
| #12 | smoovy | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 33 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | WB | 18 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | Caffè Kat | 16 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | Rynthi | 9 | 0.0090 |
| #5 | Squidward Sugmaballs | 8 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Niikos ✪ | 1240 | 0.22 | 32 min |
| #2 | Squidward Sugmaballs | 741 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | WB | 643 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #4 | Leado | 590 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #5 | Caffè Kat | 372 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MintPatty | +3.31 | 94 | 16 |
| #2 | papaJ | +1.09 | 82 | 73 |
| #3 | Leado | +0.84 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | issic | +0.45 | 79 | 48 |
| #5 | Squidward Sugmaballs | +0.26 | 66 | 61 |





