








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Esplay | 136 matches | 2,039 | |
| Faceit | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4056 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3220 | 22% |
| Smokes | 3491 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4243 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3397 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,707,008 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 742 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ♛ hiM^ | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | Input | 66% | 35 |
| #3 | parow | 58% | 38 |
| #4 | NO!SIA-dA-DeStRoYeR -Y- | 57% | 23 |
| #5 | mIKAELP | 56% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | Andycheck | 46% | 26 |
| #18 | Jeph ♛ | 45% | 38 |
| #19 | broderpimp69 | 43% | 21 |
| #20 | ChuckBass^ | 43% | 28 |
| #21 | Hegg3N | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Topgunner83 | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | stian.K | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Hegg3N | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | elwood | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | xact | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | elwood | 817 | 0.22 | 21 min |
| #2 | Topgunner83 | 365 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #3 | stian.K | 262 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | mIKAELP | 261 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | duvel | 191 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duvel | +2.40 | 63 | 74 |
| #2 | mIKAELP | +2.05 | 54 | 77 |
| #3 | parow | +1.89 | 63 | 69 |
| #4 | Jeph ♛ | +1.52 | 76 | 61 |
| #5 | xact | +1.15 | 79 | 72 |





