








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 563 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 127 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,178 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3043 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3600 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1811 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1724 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,057 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 512 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [redacted] | 48% | 110 |
| #2 | sneidois | 48% | 63 |
| #3 | ched santana | 45% | 232 |
| #4 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 45% | 142 |
| #5 | IKAK | 43% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Lenga Jhay | 42% | 79 |
| #7 | ♱ carrion chimbi ♱ | 41% | 123 |
| #8 | Grugbert | 39% | 118 |
| #9 | swerving drobbychan :) | 38% | 101 |
| #10 | arthur fact | 30% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ched santana | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Grugbert | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | swerving drobbychan :) | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | [redacted] | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ched santana | 286 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #2 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 232 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | Grugbert | 225 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | [redacted] | 120 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lenga Jhay | 91 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grugbert | +3.38 | 72 | 50 |
| #2 | swerving drobbychan :) | +1.65 | 45 | 49 |
| #3 | sneidois | +1.16 | 37 | 21 |
| #4 | IKAK | +0.85 | 45 | 41 |
| #5 | [redacted] | +0.41 | 52 | 52 |





