








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 681 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 304 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 143 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3231 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1293 | 12% |
| Smokes | 2095 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 3703 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 3261 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,475,814 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1519 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | [redacted] | 51% | 135 |
| #2 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 47% | 174 |
| #3 | ♱ carrion chimbi ♱ | 46% | 167 |
| #4 | Grugbert | 45% | 193 |
| #5 | IKAK | 44% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ched santana | 42% | 213 |
| #7 | sneidois | 40% | 93 |
| #8 | pint | 38% | 101 |
| #9 | Lenga Jhay | 37% | 99 |
| #10 | arthur fact | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grugbert | 13 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | ched santana | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ♱ carrion chimbi ♱ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | Lenga Jhay | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pint | 333 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #2 | Grugbert | 320 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #3 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 277 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | ched santana | 247 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #5 | [redacted] | 114 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grugbert | +1.73 | 69 | 50 |
| #2 | swerving drobbychan :) | +1.48 | 44 | 50 |
| #3 | sneidois | +0.54 | 40 | 18 |
| #4 | [redacted] | +0.13 | 50 | 51 |
| #5 | IKAK | -0.16 | 37 | 45 |





