








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2082 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 592 matches | ||
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,874 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4433 | 19% |
| Smokes | 7519 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 5948 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4974 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,665,684 of utility $204 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2818 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prion drobby 8( | 45% | 193 |
| #2 | sneid | 43% | 291 |
| #3 | [redacted] | 42% | 245 |
| #4 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 42% | 431 |
| #5 | ¢h¥mbubbles | 42% | 508 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | ched hanks | 41% | 584 |
| #7 | Benoit Boyce | 39% | 198 |
| #8 | pint | 39% | 118 |
| #9 | IK♥K~senpai | 38% | 221 |
| #10 | irritable down syndrome | 30% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¢h¥mbubbles | 17 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ched hanks | 15 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 13 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | sneid | 10 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | IK♥K~senpai | 8 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 756 | 0.08 | 21 min |
| #2 | ched hanks | 600 | 0.05 | 14 min |
| #3 | pint | 429 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #4 | ¢h¥mbubbles | 266 | 0.02 | 8 min |
| #5 | [redacted] | 202 | 0.04 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Melvin Doo | +2.65 | 66 | 45 |
| #2 | prion drobby 8( | +1.23 | 42 | 46 |
| #3 | sneid | +0.46 | 43 | 11 |
| #4 | [redacted] | +0.25 | 49 | 48 |
| #5 | IK♥K~senpai | -0.34 | 36 | 37 |





