








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2135 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 880 matches | ||
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 285 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10303 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,650 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4996 | 20% |
| Smokes | 6120 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 11641 | 47% |
| Molotovs | 1893 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,984,093 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7425 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pint | 45% | 232 |
| #2 | [redacted] | 44% | 378 |
| #3 | IKAK | 44% | 360 |
| #4 | ♱ carrion chimbi ♱ | 43% | 661 |
| #5 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 43% | 593 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | sneidois | 43% | 418 |
| #7 | swerving drobbychan :) | 42% | 213 |
| #8 | Lenga Jhay | 42% | 256 |
| #9 | Grugbert | 41% | 584 |
| #10 | arthur fact | 21% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grugbert | 36 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 26 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ♱ carrion chimbi ♱ | 22 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | swerving drobbychan :) | 16 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | [redacted] | 11 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweaty Ass Piez | 1322 | 0.10 | 35 min |
| #2 | Grugbert | 1041 | 0.08 | 27 min |
| #3 | pint | 906 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #4 | ♱ carrion chimbi ♱ | 404 | 0.03 | 12 min |
| #5 | [redacted] | 377 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Grugbert | +2.84 | 71 | 50 |
| #2 | swerving drobbychan :) | +1.81 | 45 | 51 |
| #3 | [redacted] | +1.05 | 48 | 52 |
| #4 | sneidois | +0.85 | 41 | 22 |
| #5 | IKAK | +0.47 | 40 | 40 |





