








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3293 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,197 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1620 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1614 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1206 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 757 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,236 of utility $71 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 27 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proud | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | pogo | 57% | 110 |
| #3 | quando rondo | 55% | 150 |
| #4 | acai | 55% | 194 |
| #5 | Ahreeeeee | 54% | 195 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | quando rondo | 55% | 150 |
| #4 | acai | 55% | 194 |
| #5 | Ahreeeeee | 54% | 195 |
| #6 | Aman18 | 52% | 196 |
| #7 | Generalpiggle | 32% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahreeeeee | 11 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | quando rondo | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | acai | 10 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | pogo | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Aman18 | 9 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahreeeeee | 523 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #2 | quando rondo | 252 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | pogo | 224 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | acai | 157 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #5 | Aman18 | 103 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the ball formulator | +4.79 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | quando rondo | +3.04 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | acai | -1.56 | 66 | 38 |
| #4 | Ahreeeeee | -1.62 | 57 | 49 |
| #5 | Aman18 | -2.16 | 57 | 34 |





