








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 66 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 81 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1225 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 383 | 16% |
| Smokes | 742 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 769 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 442 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $718,582 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proud | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | quando rondo | 52% | 122 |
| #3 | acai | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | the ball formulator | 52% | 196 |
| #5 | pogo | 51% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | acai | 52% | 159 |
| #4 | the ball formulator | 52% | 196 |
| #5 | pogo | 51% | 83 |
| #6 | Ahreeeeee | 48% | 165 |
| #7 | Generalpiggle | 25% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the ball formulator | 17 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | quando rondo | 10 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Ahreeeeee | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | acai | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | pogo | 7 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahreeeeee | 436 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | the ball formulator | 276 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #3 | quando rondo | 203 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | pogo | 149 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | acai | 123 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the ball formulator | +4.95 | 88 | 53 |
| #2 | quando rondo | +3.11 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | Ahreeeeee | -1.68 | 57 | 49 |
| #4 | acai | -1.73 | 65 | 40 |
| #5 | Aman18 | -2.15 | 56 | 33 |





