








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1697 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,867 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1256 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1288 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 684 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 639 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $285,213 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Proud | 65% | 23 |
| #2 | pogo | 57% | 70 |
| #3 | the ball formulator | 55% | 150 |
| #4 | acai | 54% | 114 |
| #5 | Aman18 | 52% | 122 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | acai | 54% | 114 |
| #5 | Aman18 | 52% | 122 |
| #6 | Ahreeeeee | 50% | 118 |
| #7 | Tesla | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | Generalpiggle | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the ball formulator | 11 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Aman18 | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Ahreeeeee | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | pogo | 6 | 0.0043 |
| #5 | acai | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ahreeeeee | 345 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | the ball formulator | 227 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | pogo | 153 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | acai | 92 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | Aman18 | 77 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | the ball formulator | +4.36 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | quando rondo | +3.17 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | Ahreeeeee | -1.73 | 58 | 48 |
| #4 | acai | -1.92 | 66 | 38 |
| #5 | Aman18 | -2.27 | 60 | 33 |





