








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,972 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 846 | 28% |
| Smokes | 855 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 588 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 683 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $183,831 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 70 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tlx | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | Jobbo_Y | 71% | 7 |
| #3 | Haaky | 71% | 7 |
| #4 | statikS | 67% | 6 |
| #5 | QuackaJoe | 67% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | IronTony | 50% | 16 |
| #12 | 5ch0lli | 43% | 14 |
| #13 | G | 40% | 5 |
| #14 | Monaco | 40% | 5 |
| #15 | NHTWNDR | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | statikS | 4 | 0.0354 |
| #2 | tlx | 3 | 0.0124 |
| #3 | QuackaJoe | 2 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Monaco | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IronTony | 91 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 89 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #3 | 5ch0lli | 68 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Haaky | 45 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | tlx | 37 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yuno | +2.13 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | G | +2.08 | 76 | 52 |
| #3 | tlx | +2.06 | 93 | 69 |
| #4 | Blacki | hellcase.com | +1.96 | 92 | 59 |
| #5 | statikS | +1.38 | 96 | 44 |





