








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 301 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2985 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2339 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2441 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1893 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2050 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $404,655 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tlx | 75% | 16 |
| #2 | Spidergum | 72% | 18 |
| #3 | crakk | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | 5ch0lli | 63% | 24 |
| #5 | Sir Gilbert | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | F18 | 58% | 36 |
| #8 | SnEaKy_DiMiTri | 55% | 20 |
| #9 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 54% | 28 |
| #10 | skippo | 53% | 45 |
| #11 | LikeSarin | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tlx | 6 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 3 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | Spidergum | 2 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | F18 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | 5ch0lli | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skippo | 161 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #2 | F18 | 124 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | 5ch0lli | 114 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #4 | ☜✪MoRo✪☞ | 100 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Spidergum | 92 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spidergum | +3.52 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | QuackaJoe | +1.78 | 90 | 66 |
| #3 | tlx | +1.73 | 92 | 61 |
| #4 | SnEaKy_DiMiTri | +0.06 | 69 | 73 |
| #5 | skippo | -0.13 | 81 | 68 |





