








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 291 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,787 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4132 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5301 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5125 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5229 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,472,207 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 524 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bridge | 62% | 34 |
| #2 | LovelyNeon | 58% | 110 |
| #3 | lol Tris | 57% | 91 |
| #4 | Pops | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | roxtedi | 53% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | lol Tris | 57% | 91 |
| #4 | Pops | 55% | 49 |
| #5 | roxtedi | 53% | 160 |
| #6 | JustaGamerboi | 49% | 39 |
| #7 | Baal | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lol Tris | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Baal | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | JustaGamerboi | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #4 | roxtedi | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | LovelyNeon | 3 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lol Tris | 438 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | roxtedi | 397 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | LovelyNeon | 293 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #4 | Pops | 201 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Baal | 138 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pops | +2.33 | 87 | 62 |
| #2 | WaffleHouseCook | +1.38 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | Baal | +0.80 | 67 | 63 |
| #4 | LovelyNeon | +0.71 | 77 | 62 |
| #5 | roxtedi | +0.45 | 73 | 69 |





