








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1174 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 551 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8583 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,223 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9036 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6668 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7698 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6821 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,141,007 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 684 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BigJimmy(BunBun) | 56% | 61 |
| #2 | pantsONfire | 55% | 47 |
| #3 | JONCH | 53% | 116 |
| #4 | WaffleHouseCook | 53% | 160 |
| #5 | Bridge | 52% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bridge | 52% | 46 |
| #6 | xK | 52% | 83 |
| #7 | ♥David^ॐ | 49% | 122 |
| #8 | Desi | 49% | 163 |
| #9 | LovelyNeon | 47% | 212 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JONCH | 10 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Desi | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | WaffleHouseCook | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | xK | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | ♥David^ॐ | 5 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JONCH | 624 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #2 | ♥David^ॐ | 544 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #3 | Desi | 543 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #4 | LovelyNeon | 541 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #5 | WaffleHouseCook | 221 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desi | +1.10 | 85 | 58 |
| #2 | roxtedi | +1.04 | 71 | 68 |
| #3 | JONCH | +0.95 | 76 | 77 |
| #4 | ♥David^ॐ | +0.87 | 84 | 67 |
| #5 | xK | +0.69 | 69 | 48 |





