








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 443 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,664 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6589 | 22% |
| Smokes | 9334 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 6004 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7737 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,701,646 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 882 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parayeet | 61% | 119 |
| #2 | Sleep | 59% | 80 |
| #3 | The Rainmaker | 57% | 194 |
| #4 | ScuFFed | 56% | 129 |
| #5 | Zface | 50% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Sleep | 59% | 80 |
| #3 | The Rainmaker | 57% | 194 |
| #4 | ScuFFed | 56% | 129 |
| #5 | Zface | 50% | 50 |
| #6 | WaffleHouseCook | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Rainmaker | 31 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Parayeet | 19 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Sleep | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | ScuFFed | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | WaffleHouseCook | 5 | 0.0065 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Rainmaker | 422 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Parayeet | 195 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #3 | ScuFFed | 102 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Sleep | 67 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | WaffleHouseCook | 60 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Parayeet | +5.59 | 69 | 65 |
| #2 | The Rainmaker | +5.49 | 80 | 62 |
| #3 | WaffleHouseCook | +5.06 | 61 | 61 |
| #4 | Sleep | +0.36 | 37 | 29 |
| #5 | ScuFFed | -0.40 | 39 | 32 |





