








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8979 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6555 | 32% |
| Smokes | 5618 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3152 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 5343 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,995,782 of utility $230 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2622 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BigJimmy(BunBun) | 46% | 54 |
| #9 | Desi | 44% | 252 |
| #10 | JONCH | 43% | 91 |
| #11 | ♥David^ॐ | 43% | 98 |
| #12 | pantsONfire | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desi | 13 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | JONCH | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | Bridge | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | roxtedi | 6 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | WaffleHouseCook | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desi | 745 | 0.14 | 21 min |
| #2 | roxtedi | 596 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #3 | ♥David^ॐ | 417 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #4 | JONCH | 410 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #5 | Bridge | 409 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C̵h̷e̶r̵r̸y̴ ̸B̷o̸i̵ ̵H̶×n̶t̴e̸r | +3.66 | 66 | 48 |
| #2 | ♥David^ॐ | +1.58 | 86 | 67 |
| #3 | Mekatoku!!! | +1.58 | 68 | 28 |
| #4 | roxtedi | +1.18 | 71 | 70 |
| #5 | Desi | +1.11 | 85 | 56 |





