








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 70 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,631 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2410 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1467 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2228 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1526 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $616,668 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MysticalWafflez | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Turner | 63% | 86 |
| #3 | 👽 𝕊 𝕌 𝕊 👽 | 61% | 33 |
| #4 | Ja$on | 59% | 121 |
| #5 | Chand3mic | 56% | 186 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chand3mic | 25 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | BrothaManSteve | 16 | 0.0289 |
| #3 | Turner | 8 | 0.0050 |
| #4 | duf | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Ja$on | 6 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chand3mic | 458 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Turner | 262 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ja$on | 253 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | MysticalWafflez | 193 | 0.26 | 5 min |
| #5 | 👽 𝕊 𝕌 𝕊 👽 | 153 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 👽 𝕊 𝕌 𝕊 👽 | +2.78 | 71 | 64 |
| #2 | duf | +2.02 | 78 | 49 |
| #3 | Chand3mic | +1.20 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | MysticalWafflez | +1.01 | 74 | 60 |
| #5 | Turner | +0.42 | 60 | 58 |





