








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2068 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,748 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1805 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1763 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1260 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1920 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $870,061 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CSGORage.com | 63% | 86 |
| #2 | 👽 𝕊 𝕌 𝕊 👽 | 60% | 15 |
| #3 | duf | 59% | 86 |
| #4 | S-Wall | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Chand3mic | 55% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | S-Wall | 56% | 18 |
| #5 | Chand3mic | 55% | 193 |
| #6 | Ja$on | 54% | 164 |
| #7 | MysticalWafflez | 52% | 105 |
| #8 | BrothaManSteve | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chand3mic | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | Ja$on | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | duf | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | MysticalWafflez | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | CSGORage.com | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chand3mic | 598 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | MysticalWafflez | 527 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #3 | Ja$on | 382 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #4 | CSGORage.com | 218 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | duf | 111 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | duf | +1.73 | 75 | 49 |
| #2 | 👽 𝕊 𝕌 𝕊 👽 | +1.63 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | Chand3mic | +0.97 | 70 | 67 |
| #4 | BrothaManSteve | +0.70 | 83 | 57 |
| #5 | Turner | +0.50 | 61 | 64 |





