








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 331 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 205 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,456 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2773 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3489 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2501 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2693 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,662 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmmm | 72% | 18 |
| #2 | Ronildim bala tensa | 66% | 47 |
| #3 | FakNe | 62% | 42 |
| #4 | Broon | 62% | 73 |
| #5 | AQUI PEGA VIU | 55% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AQUI PEGA VIU | 25 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | fff | 11 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | ZeLgi | 8 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | HYOGA THE GOD | 6 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Broon | 6 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AQUI PEGA VIU | 642 | 0.23 | 14 min |
| #2 | FakNe | 385 | 0.42 | 11 min |
| #3 | fff | 369 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | ZeLgi | 247 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #5 | Pai Bebado | 242 | 0.17 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmmmm | +2.74 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | Ronildim bala tensa | +2.44 | 86 | 65 |
| #3 | AQUI PEGA VIU | +2.13 | 64 | 67 |
| #4 | Pai Bebado | +1.35 | 68 | 67 |
| #5 | Broon | +1.27 | 67 | 57 |





