








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 813 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 144 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,800 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6894 | 24% |
| Smokes | 8560 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 7495 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5851 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,410,838 of utility $169 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 329 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | b4tUt4 | 47% | 55 |
| #10 | HYOGA THE GOD | 47% | 266 |
| #11 | ⚡fer | 46% | 183 |
| #12 | FakNe | 46% | 151 |
| #13 | Alcoolismo | 42% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TxFlow | 27 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | oheadzin | 24 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Broon | 23 | 0.0053 |
| #4 | ⚡fer | 18 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Alcoolismo | 14 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FakNe | 1355 | 0.41 | 37 min |
| #2 | oheadzin | 871 | 0.13 | 20 min |
| #3 | TxFlow | 859 | 0.24 | 19 min |
| #4 | HYOGA THE GOD | 552 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #5 | ⚡fer | 511 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ronildim bala tensa | +2.54 | 78 | 59 |
| #2 | TxFlow | +2.43 | 61 | 62 |
| #3 | Broon | +2.14 | 68 | 53 |
| #4 | Alcoolismo | +1.68 | 66 | 63 |
| #5 | h | +1.51 | 67 | 67 |





