








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 457 matches | ||
| Faceit | 201 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4894 | 21% |
| Smokes | 6685 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5765 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6277 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,427,190 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 112 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h | 62% | 73 |
| #2 | Ronildim bala tensa | 53% | 83 |
| #3 | TxFlow | 52% | 86 |
| #4 | ⚡fer | 51% | 128 |
| #5 | oheadzin | 51% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | oheadzin | 51% | 75 |
| #6 | Alcoolismo | 50% | 68 |
| #7 | ZeLgi | 48% | 204 |
| #8 | FakNe | 46% | 79 |
| #9 | HYOGA THE GOD | 44% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TxFlow | 21 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | ⚡fer | 17 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | ZeLgi | 13 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Alcoolismo | 12 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | HYOGA THE GOD | 8 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FakNe | 740 | 0.43 | 20 min |
| #2 | TxFlow | 484 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #3 | ⚡fer | 393 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | ZeLgi | 377 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | HYOGA THE GOD | 262 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TxFlow | +1.92 | 63 | 60 |
| #2 | Ronildim bala tensa | +1.47 | 77 | 59 |
| #3 | Alcoolismo | +1.40 | 67 | 64 |
| #4 | Broon | +1.07 | 67 | 52 |
| #5 | h | +1.01 | 53 | 68 |





