








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 777 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 435 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 189 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4352 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,081 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3757 | 19% |
| Smokes | 5833 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6066 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4425 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,753,668 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 92 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | fff | 45% | 156 |
| #12 | Broon | 44% | 135 |
| #13 | O kbcinha | 42% | 171 |
| #14 | hn | 41% | 86 |
| #15 | Pai Bebado | 37% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AQUI PEGA VIU | 28 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | ZeLgi | 21 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | fff | 19 | 0.0058 |
| #4 | Broon | 18 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | bατμτα ツ | 18 | 0.0163 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FakNe | 764 | 0.40 | 22 min |
| #2 | AQUI PEGA VIU | 681 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #3 | ZeLgi | 664 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #4 | O kbcinha | 542 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | fff | 473 | 0.15 | 9 min |





