








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 792 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 219 matches | ||
| Faceit | 148 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,810 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2523 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4050 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 3824 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2413 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,821,655 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 724 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | its n0rmal | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | Majo | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | kyle | 57% | 28 |
| #4 | S4inT <3 | 54% | 52 |
| #5 | Shionagi | 50% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | desire | 43% | 92 |
| #8 | maashh :( | 38% | 29 |
| #9 | navox ↓they suck↓ | 38% | 93 |
| #10 | ♆DirnenJaeger | 38% | 24 |
| #11 | tpm | 36% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | navox ↓they suck↓ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | S4inT <3 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Majo | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | desire | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | pump | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | desire | 501 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #2 | Majo | 210 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #3 | navox ↓they suck↓ | 171 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | pump | 137 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | maashh :( | 97 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exactly | +0.93 | 76 | 47 |
| #2 | Shionagi | +0.68 | 60 | 59 |
| #3 | desire | +0.52 | 72 | 73 |
| #4 | its n0rmal | +0.50 | 42 | 59 |
| #5 | pump | +0.50 | 75 | 49 |





