








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 42 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 149 matches | ||
| Premier | 100 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2540 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2146 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2546 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $682,010 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exactly | 54% | 52 |
| #2 | TopGSasch | 48% | 31 |
| #3 | its n0rmal | 42% | 187 |
| #4 | nYck | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exactly | 54% | 52 |
| #2 | TopGSasch | 48% | 31 |
| #3 | its n0rmal | 42% | 187 |
| #4 | nYck | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | its n0rmal | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | exactly | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | nYck | 1 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | its n0rmal | 585 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | exactly | 90 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | nYck | 84 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | TopGSasch | 66 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exactly | +2.31 | 73 | 48 |
| #2 | nYck | +0.29 | 71 | 50 |
| #3 | its n0rmal | -0.53 | 41 | 55 |
| #4 | S4inT <3 | -0.66 | 59 | 55 |
| #5 | TopGSasch | -3.00 | 46 | 61 |





