








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 413 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 354 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2832 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,571 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1979 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3550 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3414 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3628 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,440,835 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 872 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jaysee | 57% | 28 |
| #2 | B E N N Y Z | 55% | 58 |
| #3 | bunneeh | 51% | 122 |
| #4 | Jesus31 | 49% | 369 |
| #5 | HOUND-_- | 49% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | SmeaL | 48% | 252 |
| #7 | booleaN | 48% | 229 |
| #8 | Jizmo | 44% | 41 |
| #9 | Woohoo | 40% | 77 |
| #10 | Veorra ♡ | 38% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmeaL | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Jesus31 | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | booleaN | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | HOUND-_- | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | bunneeh | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jesus31 | 488 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #2 | HOUND-_- | 307 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #3 | SmeaL | 274 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | booleaN | 255 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | bunneeh | 76 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunneeh | +2.73 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | Jaysee | +1.21 | 78 | 50 |
| #3 | SmeaL | +1.17 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | booleaN | +1.06 | 74 | 62 |
| #5 | HOUND-_- | +0.76 | 68 | 70 |





