








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 591 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 386 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5291 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4687 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3946 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2094 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 2906 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $612,205 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 115 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 55% | 225 |
| #2 | Jaysee | 54% | 46 |
| #3 | B E N N Y Z | 53% | 118 |
| #4 | Jizmo | 52% | 85 |
| #5 | bunneeh | 51% | 210 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Jesus31 | 49% | 282 |
| #7 | SmeaL | 48% | 331 |
| #8 | arT | 48% | 229 |
| #9 | Veorra ♡ | 45% | 128 |
| #10 | Woohoo | 45% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SmeaL | 12 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | HOUND-_- | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Jesus31 | 6 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | arT | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | B E N N Y Z | 6 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HOUND-_- | 1044 | 0.22 | 27 min |
| #2 | SmeaL | 789 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #3 | Jesus31 | 779 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #4 | bunneeh | 434 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #5 | Jizmo | 292 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunneeh | +3.06 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | booleaN | +1.48 | 75 | 61 |
| #3 | SmeaL | +1.21 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | B E N N Y Z | +0.98 | 56 | 61 |
| #5 | Jaysee | +0.91 | 78 | 45 |





