








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1720 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 944 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




147 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8915 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,939 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 16238 | 31% |
| Smokes | 11352 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 14624 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 10725 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,863,199 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6688 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | B E N N Y Z | 61% | 142 |
| #2 | booleaN | 55% | 225 |
| #3 | bunneeh | 54% | 140 |
| #4 | Jaysee | 52% | 100 |
| #5 | Woohoo | 52% | 299 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Woohoo | 52% | 299 |
| #6 | Jesus31 | 50% | 236 |
| #7 | SmeaL | 49% | 253 |
| #8 | arT | 49% | 138 |
| #9 | Jizmo | 47% | 630 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jizmo | 109 | 0.0085 |
| #2 | SmeaL | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Woohoo | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | booleaN | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Jesus31 | 6 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jizmo | 2695 | 0.21 | 72 min |
| #2 | Jesus31 | 717 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #3 | booleaN | 682 | 0.15 | 21 min |
| #4 | SmeaL | 652 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #5 | Woohoo | 317 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bunneeh | +3.06 | 92 | 69 |
| #2 | booleaN | +1.70 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | SmeaL | +1.38 | 75 | 62 |
| #4 | HOUND-_- | +0.82 | 67 | 69 |
| #5 | Woohoo | +0.54 | 69 | 45 |





